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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23587345">lotus land</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilyblues/pseuds/lilyminji'>lilyminji (lilyblues)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>lost realms, magical lands [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dreamcatcher (Korea Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Dysfunctional Family, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Brainwashing, Memory Alteration, Non-Graphic Violence, Survival</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 23:02:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,432</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23587345</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilyblues/pseuds/lilyminji</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>❝ you don't need to remember yourself ❞</p><p>- wherein jiu is stuck in a remote island and she can remember everything and everyone except herself (and there's bombs and death and a limited time to not die)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Han Dong | Handong/Lee Yoobin | Dami, Kim Bora | SuA/Lee Siyeon, Kim Minji | JiU/Kim Yoohyeon, Kim Minji | JiU/Lee Siyeon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>lost realms, magical lands [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1815481</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>30</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. prologue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><br/>
°</p><p>
  <em>
    <b>my best dreams</b>
  </em><br/>
<em>
    <b>and</b>
  </em><br/>
<em>
    <b>worst nightmares</b>
  </em><br/>
<b>
    <em>have the same people</em>
  </b><br/>
<em>
    <b>in them</b>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>philippos</em>
</p><p>°</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>There's a colorful hue of neon fog when Jiu enters and she wonders if it's another one of Yoohyeon's ideas before she realized she wasn't in their shared flat, she's at some reserved room at a bar and she's supposed to meet Siyeon.</p><p>Well, it's Siyeon so maybe she'd pulled some strings just for the colored fogs. What she didn't understand, however, was the inappropriateness of it—what with their meeting supposedly something serious.</p><p>Where is she anyways? Jiu's head was starting to ache, she wondered if it was because of the alcoholic smell of the room. Jiu's never been fond of alcohol.</p><p>Moments later, the door opened hastily, the blasting music from the main room creeping in as Siyeon arrived with ruffled clothes and sweaty forehead before she stumbled inside and closed the door shut.</p><p>"Sorry—Yoohyeon almost strangled me."</p><p>Jiu frowned, "Why would Yoohyeon strangle you?"</p><p>Siyeon only shrugged, flopping herself into the seat right across to her before her eyes wandered around the room.</p><p>"What's with the fogs?" Siyeon asked, wrinkling her nose as the smell hits her too.</p><p>"I thought this was your idea?"</p><p>Siyeon scoffs, "In a formal setting? Jiu I'm not that impulsive. That's Yoohyeon— or Gahyeon maybe."</p><p>Jiu's amused.</p><p>"Then why meet at a room in a bar? We could've met at my flat."</p><p>Siyeon waved her hand in dismissal, "I'm not in good terms with Yoohyeon right now and she's living with you so no thanks— and before you suggest my place, Sua is being pissy at the moment. The slightest noise and she throws something at me."</p><p>Jiu sighs in defeat, "Fine. Let's just get to the point of why we're here, which I'm not informed of."</p><p>Siyeon turns serious.</p><p>"It's about the island."</p><p>Jiu's stomach dropped, anxiety shooting up her nerves as she eyes Siyeon warily.</p><p>Siyeon was giving her an uncomfortable look, the island was a big part of her argument with Yoohyeon and it's not comforting to think Siyeon's been with the younger girl before this talk.</p><p>"I thought we agreed it's dangerous. You know I'm on Yoohyeon's side on this one."</p><p>Siyeon nods, "I know. I agree as well but that's not what's really concerning right now."</p><p>"Then what?"</p><p>Siyeon doesn't reply, handing Jiu her phone instead and she scans the list of words written on screen.</p><p>Jiu's heart almost stopped.</p><p>"Someone signed us up on the island."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. island</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>— first days</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>— yes this is rewritten and reposted. the use of stage names is on purpose.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>°</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>they hand in hand, </em>
  </b>
  <br/>
  <b>
    <em>with wandering steps and slow,</em>
  </b>
  <br/>
  <b>
    <em>through eden took their solitary way</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <em>john milton</em>
</p><p>°</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>She gasps awake, taking in as much air as she could, flooding her lungs with oxygen as if she'd long been deprived of it because her body just keeps on taking it. She felt like dying already.</p><p>Her eyes flutter open, immediately scanning where she was, enormous tress with thick branches that looked magical under the glittering stars and the silvery light the moon provided. There was a certain hue of purple color the fog has and despite the unusualness of waking up in the middle of an unknown forest, she felt oddly calm. At peace. Contented.</p><p>Then she shot up almost immediately, mind racing at the blank canvas that was her brain because all she could remember was her name, Jiu was her name right?</p><p>"Oh Jiu's awake!"</p><p>She hears a crackle of burning wood and she turned around to three girls circling the camp fire, grilling some kind of meat and her stomach rumbles despite her confusion. Memories rushes back to her mind and she's left breathless.</p><p>"Are you okay, unnie?" Siyeon asks.</p><p>Siyeon. Lee Siyeon. Childhood friend Siyeon with her new short blue hair and chubby cheeks and Jiu's eyes travelled to the next person with the unusual silver hair and her brain sends her information and that this is Yoohyeon and besides her, the short person who spoke earlier was Sua.</p><p>She waits for her mind to process anything else but she only knows her friends and her name and how she feels and she can't remember anything else―where were they? Who were her parents? Did she live here?</p><p>"It's weird when you're silent, unnie. Please do make some noise." Yoohyeon exclaims, a serious frown forming on her brows as she stares at Jiu.</p><p>Jiu, on the other hand, feels the anxiety rise up to her throat.</p><p>Sua gives her a concerned look, "What's wrong?"</p><p>She looks at Sua with panicked eyes.</p><p>"I can remember everything," She breathes shakily, "Except myself."</p><p>Yoohyeon gives her a confused look, "How is that even possible?"</p><p>Siyeon squeezes Jiu's shoulders, maybe as a sign of reassurance but somehow her touch made her even more nervous and it was as if her body wants to reject her friend's affection and it was absurd because Jiu knows she had always liked to be with Siyeon. It was weird. Her repulsion to Siyeon at the moment was weird. Jiu stays quiet.</p><p>She looks at Sua who was standing behind Siyeon and her friends gave her a comforting smile. Or at least an attempt at a comforting smile because suddenly Jiu wasn't comfortable with her very best friends.</p><p>
  <em> "You don't need to remember yourself." </em>
</p><p>Jiu blinks.</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"I said it will come around. You just woke up after being unconscious after all," Siyeon explains, throwing an arm around Jiu's shoulders this time before dragging her to sit with them by the bonfire.</p><p>Huh. </p><p>She was pretty sure Siyeon said something else. Was she hearing things?</p><p>Yoohyeon sits on Jiu's other side, her presence calming Jiu's nerves for some reason she couldn't pinpoint. As far as she remembers, Yoohyeon was anything but calming.</p><p>"Now that I think about it," Yoohyeon started, scanning Jiu's figure before getting Sua's attention, "You both never told me where you found Jiu unnie."</p><p>Jiu snaps her attention to Sua and Siyeon, "You both found me?"</p><p>Yoohyeon answers for them with a nod, fingers rubbing Jiu's wrist to calm her sudden tense tone on reflex which escalated to her playing with Jiu's hands. Jiu's a bit distracted now, and it seems like Yoohyeon is too. Like she was somehow disoriented even though she's obviously conscious earlier than Jiu. Where are they again? No one answered her yet.</p><p>She's about to ask when Sua answered Yoohyeon's previous question.</p><p>"At the beach. Her head using a rock as a pillow. Probably explains the amnesia."</p><p>Jiu squinted her eyes a bit, searching Sua's eyes and darting them every now and then to Siyeon and Yoohyeon but it hurts to even think too much. Something's amiss. She just can't piece it together with the stinging pain that lingers at the back of her head. If it was just amnesia then why was it so specific? </p><p>Siyeon serves them the food and an uncomfortable quiet fall upon them as they started eating. Jiu's eyes still keep on wandering and at some point, she caught Yoohyeon confusedly looking around too. Maybe it was them. Yoohyeon doesn't bode well with silence and it seems like it's the same thing for her. But what does she know? Her memories aren't exactly reliable. </p><p>A minute or more of thinking and Jiu remembers her unanswered question again. It seems like she keeps on forgetting. Or losing the timing to ask. </p><p>"Where are we?" She finally speaks up, wincing as her voice seems more louder with the silence of her friends. And she's confused again because somehow she knows she never used to mind screaming over silence.</p><p>Yoohyeon gives her a shrug as an answer, Siyeon just stares at her, leaving it to Sua to answer and the shorter girl does so with a sigh. Jiu feels like she'd said something wrong.</p><p>"You don't remember that too. Figures."</p><p>Another uncomfortable silence descends upon them.</p><p>Secons later, Siyeon elbows Sua, a forced grin painted on her lips, "Chill. Your mood swing is getting worse. Most of us doesn't remember too. In fact, you're the only one who does?"</p><p>Jiu gives Siyeon a questioning look but she only refers her to Sua who suddenly sags and gives her an apologetic smile and she maybe confused and her memory has gaps but she remembers everything about her friends and if there's one thing she knows its that Sua and Siyeon seems a bit off. </p><p>Still Sua seems regretful with her previous tone. When did she feel afraid of the girl though?</p><p>"I'm sorry. It's just— this island just brings out the worst of us."</p><p>Jiu blinked, "What?"</p><p>"You remember that place Yoohyeon found in some book a few months ago? About some kind of mythology related thing but we all also joked around and thought it was a good idea cause apparently it's like an escape island where no one will find us here and we can just do whatever the hell we want?" Sua elaborates and Jiu's memories started turning.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> "And it's like we have our own island kingdom?" Siyeon asks incredulously, her eyes rapidly reading the book Yoohyeon handed her. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> Yoohyeon nods excitedly before Jiu snatches the book from Siyeon's hands. </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "This is kind of sketchy though?" </em>
</p><p>
  <em> A groan could be heard, "Jiu's acting like the eldest you guys!" </em>
</p><p>
  <em> "I am the eldest!" </em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Wait we're actually—we took it seriously? But as far as I remember I dug up a whole lot about it and its—"</p><p>"Something we can never get out of once we're here." Sua finishes.</p><p>Jiu takes in a sharp intake of breath, everything finally setting in. Siyeon pats her shoulders as Yoohyeon looks away from her, probably guilty at having discovered the island in the first place. </p><p>Siyeon gives her a lopsided grin.</p><p>"It's unfortunate Jiu unnie but— Welcome to Lotus Land."</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The first thing she registers when she comes to her senses are the towering lush green trees, then the pastel colored night sky, then Gahyeon.</p><p>Gahyeon with the furrowed brows, staring at her hands intensely before someone- Handong- blocks the sight and stares back with her own scrunched up expression.</p><p>"I still can't find the unnies and Yoohyeon," the older girl exclaims, disappointment thick in her voice.</p><p>Yubin finally sits up, unable to go back to her slumber now with the two other girls awake. </p><p>They've been camping somewhere in the middle of the island forest, sleeping a temporary lean-to shelter.</p><p>"We'll find them," Yubin assures, squeezing Handong's hand as she did so, "Or they'll find us. Then we get out of here."</p><p>Handong doesn't budge, "But isn't this that island?"</p><p>Yubin remained silent, the gears in her head turning and frustration bubbling in her chest. Whoever signed them up here, if this was really that island, she was going to fucking murder them.</p><p>"It's not so bad here..."</p><p>Yubin snaps her attention to Gahyeon, the girl staring back at her with intense dark eyes, something unreadable flashing in them for just a millisecond. Yubin narrows her own eyes at her.</p><p>"This island will kill us. We don't know where the others are. It's bad. "</p><p>Gahyeon doesn't talk back, only avoids her eyes as Yubin continued to give her a look.</p><p>"What if..." Handong starts, pausing for a bit as though she struggled forming her next words, "...what if something bad happened to them?"</p><p>Yubin swallows the bile that's rising up her throat. There isn't any information of the island that they were sure of except that it's dangerous.</p><p>"I'm sure they're fine," Yubin assures.</p><p><em> I hope they're fine </em>, she thinks.</p><p>Next she scans their surroundings. The trees towers around them with no indication or clue that could lead to a clearing. They only had three days worth of food and water too, courtesy of some backpack Gahyeon found earlier. </p><p>Yubin finds it a bit suspicious but she wasn't about to refuse offered necessities.</p><p>"Maybe we should get to somewhere with a higher ground? Then we can see where to go from up there?" Gahyeon finally spoke, hesitance thick in her voice.</p><p>Yubin nodded, deciding to ask about Gahyeon's odd behavior later before sending the younger girl a quick smile, "That's actually a great idea."</p><p>Gahyeon leads the way and they all walk in silence. Yubin goes back to her thoughts.</p><p>As far as she'd read from the research she did with Jiu, Lotus Land was supposed to be private property. Somewhere in the Pacific Ocean. However, the only means to get to it was to register and win some game tournament of some kind which was what might've brought it to Yoohyeon's attention in the first place.</p><p>
  <em> 'Further information will be disclosed upon arrival'  </em>
</p><p>So far it's been almost two days, they still don't know anything and Yubin can't shake away the feeling of dread that continues to creep up her spine. It's not exactly assuring that she had no idea where the others were.</p><p>"Maybe they're at the beach?" Gahyeon said, pointing southeast and sure enough, Yubin could see it from where they were now standing.</p><p>"But Jiu unnie knows camping," Handong spoke up quietly, "They'd probably be looking for a water source inland." </p><p>Gahyeon shook her head, "But that's assuming she's with the others. I don't think either Siyeon or Sua unnie would want to wander."</p><p>Handong was about to protest again when Yubin decided to step in, softly squeezing the older girl's shoulder to calm her down.</p><p>"You're right unnie, however, Gahyeon has a point too," Yubin starts before her face scrunched up into a frown from the decision she's about to make.</p><p>"Look, it would be harder to wander around looking for them inland. Why don't we check out the beach first and if they're not there, then we try Dong unnie's idea?" </p><p>Gahyeon heaved a sigh of relief, throwing Handong a tight smile as the older girl just shook her head.</p><p>As soon as Gahyeon started the trek, Yubin held on to Handong.</p><p>"There's something wrong," Yubin whispered, half asking, half stating a fact.</p><p>Handong's shoulders tensed, "It's more than something."</p><p>Yubin wanted the older girl to elaborate but she had already shook off the younger girls hold, fists clenched as she followed Gahyeon. </p><p>Somewhere at the back of her mind, there's a part of her that's telling her something is missing. Something Yubin should know but she can't remember any damn thing other than the night before the island, her vision spinning as colorful mist surrounded her room and a crashing sound that made her already ringing ears bleed. </p><p>In her dreams she sees a blurry face and a surge of anger hits her like a truck but she doesn't know why, only that it's interlaced with bitterness from... hurt? betrayal? </p><p>Yubin's not sure and before she could take hold of the emotion, the ground shook as somewhere in the island, an explosion was set off.</p><p>Her ears rang again.</p><p>Yubin doesn't know when she dropped to the ground but Handong was now helping her up, her voice distorted as Yubin struggled to get her hearing back.</p><p>"Look up!"</p><p>It was close to that last memory- the feeling of dizzy and sharp ringing but this time she was just rattled. Terrified.</p><p>"Yubin, look up!"</p><p>Explosions. Who the hell?</p><p>"Yubin!!" Handong finally screams and Yubin followed the girl's finger pointing up to the sky.</p><p>It took a few minutes for the words to sink in and when it did, her blood ran cold, chest hammering with the rising panic that's crawling up her throat.</p><p>Handong tugs on her as Gahyeon looked at Yubin, eyes wide with pure fear and something else she couldn't identify with the rush of adrenaline that's coursing through her.</p><p>"Yubin!" Handong snaps her back to reality.</p><p>She squeezed her eyes shut to steel her nerves before opening them again, trying to ignore the holographic words in the sky.</p><p>"We have to find the unnies," Yubin exhaled shakily, "We have to find them fucking fast."</p><p> </p><p>Wₑₗcₒₘₑ ₜₒ ₗₒₜᵤₛ ₗₐₙD</p><p>bₒdy cₒᵤₙₜ fₒᵣ ₜₕₑ dₐy: ₅</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. certitude</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>°</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <strong>this i ever held worse that all certitude,<br/>to not know what the worst ahead<br/>might be</strong> </em>
</p><p>
  <em>algernon charles swinburne</em>
</p><p>
  <em>°</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Her ears are bleeding.</p><p>Or she thinks it is, her hands blood stained after she’d clutched her ears, something warm and sticky on the sides of her head. Jiu’s not really sure what.</p><p>She’d inhaled smoke and dust, chest heaving as she continued to cough them out, legs still numb and uncooperative so she’s stuck trying not to breath in the leftover smell of gas from the explosion too much.</p><p>“-re you okay?! Please tell me you’re alive!”</p><p>Jiu can only groan in response, her throat too sore to speak, everything too painful at the moment.</p><p>“Oh my god, Jiu unnie!”</p><p>Jiu winced, the sharp call doing nothing to help her ringing ears.</p><p>A frantic Yoohyeon emerged from behind her before immediately dropping down to check on the older girl, hesitantly touching Jiu’s head to check where she was wounded. Jiu flinched.</p><p>“Shit,” Yoohyeon breathed shakily, eyes meeting Jiu’s.</p><p>Jiu widens her eyes a bit, urging the younger girl to explain what it was she seemed hesitant to say. Yoohyeon clenches her jaw and somehow Jiu knows it means she’s either angry or thinking hard.</p><p>“What the hell was in that bag you said you found…” Yoohyeon muttered under her breath although Jiu could hear it clearly.</p><p>What indeed.</p><p>They’d separated from Siyeon and Sua to gather dry woods and leaves for the campfire at night when she’d found a rugged bag in the middle of the forest. She wasn’t expecting it to explode as soon as she poked it with a stick.</p><p>“God unnie! I don’t know what to do! Is it alright for you to stand up? Or should I get Sua and Siyeon unnie? But I don’t wanna leave you here-”</p><p>Jiu’s heart was pounding and as she scanned where she was again, the splitting headache she couldn’t feel awhile ago hit her without warning.</p><p>“Yoohyeon…” Jiu starts, her head aching even more as the younger girl continues to ramble.</p><p>She motions for Yoohyeon to help her up instead, her world spinning for a moment as the darkness on the edges of her vision grows and she just needs someone to ground her. Yoohyeon looks disapproving but she helps her up anyways, hands gripping Jiu’s arms tight but loose enough to not hurt.</p><p>
  <strong> <em><br/>‘a gift from LOTUS LAND’ </em> </strong>
</p><p><br/>Jiu inwardly cursed herself. She should have known not to touch anything that came from the island prison they were in.</p><p>“Unnie what’s that?” Yoohyeon suddenly speaks up, fingers pointing towards a glinting object that came from where the bag once stood.</p><p>Before she could protest, Yoohyeon was already gently letting her down on the ground and Jiu expected more explosions as another dizzy spell hits her but Yoohyeon comes back only seconds later.</p><p>“It looks like some kind of key?” The younger girl whispers, palms open as she shows Jiu the object she’d just picked up.</p><p>Sure enough, an apple shaped sapphire key was in Yoohyeon’s hand and Jiu frowned. For some reason, it was unsettling… and familiar.<br/><br/>Jiu blinks, nausea hitting her and suddenly she’s vomiting whatever she had managed to digest the last few days, cold sweat trickling down the back of her neck and before she could warn Yoohyeon, her eyes rolled back as darkness overwhelmed her senses.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <em>She was screaming.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Her wrists were bleeding from pulling on her restraints, the chains rubbing her skin raw. Every part of her was being torn apart. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Then it stopped but the painful ache remained. Her vision was spinning, eyes downcast and she tries to steady herself by focusing on the hanging blur of red that served as some kind of pendant. Some kind of necklace. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Someone was sobbing.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“I’m sorry.”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And she’s screaming again.</em>
</p><p>
  <em> <br/><br/></em>
</p><p>“JIU!”</p><p>Her eyes snapped open. Yoohyeon hovers above her with panicked eyes, hands clutching Jiu’s shoulders tightly.</p><p>It was already dark, the cool air of the night waking her up further as the breeze hits her sweat soaked clothes, making her shiver. Yoohyeon helps her sit up.</p><p>“What- where? What happened?” She managed to croak out.</p><p>Yoohyeon hands her some warm water.</p><p>“You… you passed out and… and you were screaming,” Yoohyeon answers shortly, eyes unable to meet Jiu’s.</p><p>Jiu checked her surroundings. Somehow, Yoohyeon was able to make a tepee shelter. Beside her was some blood soaked towels which the younger girl must’ve used to clean her up and she could feel the bandage that’s now wrapped around her head.</p><p>“Where?” Jiu asked, fingers grazing the bandage on her head to clarify herself.</p><p>Yoohyeon tilts her head towards a slightly burnt bag.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <strong> <em>‘a gift from LOTUS LAND’ </em> </strong>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“It had some supplies in there. Food, water, first aid kit,” Yoohyeon explains.</p><p>Jiu nods slightly as Yoohyeon’s voice falters for a bit, “I’m sorry I’m really bad at this.”</p><p>Jiu frowned, a disapproving look crossing her face because if building them a temporary shelter and fixing her up was a bad job then they clearly have different ideas of bad.</p><p>“You did amazing, Yoohyeon. Thank you.”</p><p>Hearing that, Yoohyeon sighed in relief.</p><p>“Where are we though?” Jiu asked again, wondering why she hadn’t seen Sua or Siyeon at all.</p><p>Yoohyeon opened her mouth to explain before she paused and seemed to hesitate, brows furrowed in concentration. A few seconds passed before the younger girl remembered that Jiu was waiting for an answer. Yoohyeon gives her a nervous smile.</p><p>“I didn’t want to move you too much while you were unconscious,” Yoohyeon finally said, moving to dig into the backpack so that she wouldn’t have to face Jiu, “It was getting darker too so I figured we should wait til it’s morning again to go back to Sua and Siyeon unnie.”</p><p>Jiu didn’t reply. Yoohyeon continued what she was doing.</p><p>“That’s not really the whole reason, is it?”</p><p>Another long stretch of silence passed between them and it brings them memories of when they first got to know each other, of the rare moments of calm between the bright energy they’ve both decided to put on, of Yoohyeon’s hesitance in sharing something she’s not sure of and Jiu’s subtle way of making her talk. But not this time. Somehow, despite Yoohyeon remembering everything and Jiu knowing everything about her friends, they’ve become different persons. Jiu wonders if it’s part of the island’s charm.</p><p>“You’ll tell me eventually right?” Jiu sighed, trusting that Yoohyeon will tell her when she wants to.</p><p>Yoohyeon pauses.</p><p>“Hopefully not, unnie.”</p><p>Jiu stared at the girl’s back. Something wasn’t really adding up. Yoohyeon seemed more different than when she first woke up.</p><p>“Why not?” Jiu asked, a tremor in her voice as the suspicions starts running up her mind again.</p><p>Yoohyeon turns around, this time looking at Jiu and this time, all her vulnerabilities laid out, eyes angry and resentful.</p><p>“Because I hope I’m wrong about it, Jiu unnie.”<br/><br/></p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>“Where the hell are they?!”</p><p>Siyeon flinched, Sua’s voice shrill against the silence of the night as she paced around, the boots she’d been wearing digging into the sand. They’ve been waiting and looking for Jiu and Yoohyeon for hours and as soon as the sun had set, Sua had started having a mini tirade.</p><p>“This is your fault!” Sua screamed, eyes blazing as she holds Siyeon’s gaze.</p><p>Siyeon sighed. Perhaps, in a way, it was her fault for suggesting for them to split up but Sua agreed to it so she was as much to blame. Siyeon doesn’t tell her that though. The smaller girl was a raging fire when mad and she was every bit as furious as an inferno at the moment. Siyeon at least knows she can’t put out fire with fire.</p><p>“Calm down,” Siyeon starts and Sua’s already about to interrupt but the younger girl continues before she could, “Look. Yoohyeon and Jiu unnie are smart and rational. If it got dark before they could come back here, they would stay put and will come find us in the morning.”</p><p>“And what if they don’t?” Sua challenged.</p><p>“They will,” Siyeon assured with a forced smile, “Shouldn’t we be more worried about the others instead?”</p><p>Sua narrows her eyes at the change of topic but relents anyways.</p><p>“Gahyeon’s probably with Yubin and Handong. They’ll be okay.”</p><p>Siyeon wasn’t satisfied with that answer.</p><p>“And what about that thing written in the skies hours ago, unnie? What was that?”</p><p>There’s a flash of irritation that crossed Sua’s eyes before she blinked it away. Siyeon stops herself from saying anything.</p><p>“I don’t know,” Sua answers, a hint of anger in her voice.</p><p>Siyeon decided not to push. Sua seemed to have an inkling on whatever it was and whatever it was, Siyeon hoped it was something that wouldn’t make her regret trusting the older girl.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>- okay so... this is short and i don't know. i haven't really been writing lately and this is bad hhhh but yeah idk if i still want to write in this fandom, although i still love dreamcatcher a lot of course i'm still very active on twitter, idk but we'll see. although i'd still finish every hanging fics first (but like does anyone even read these hhhh).</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. uncertainty</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>°</p><p>
  <strong>confusion is a luxury<br/>
which only the very, very young<br/>
can possibly afford</strong>
</p><p>james baldwin</p><p>°</p><p>
  <b> <br/>
 </b>
</p><p>They’ve been walking for hours, Yubin and Handong trying to match Gahyeon’s pace as she hurries through the forest, shoulders tense and perhaps even a bit panicked because Yubin could barely get a word out from the girl since the explosion they’ve felt hours ago.</p><p>“It’s getting dark,” Handong whispers beside her and sure enough, the sun was already starting to set.</p><p>Yubin nods, gently grabbing Gahyeon’s arm to stop the girl, “Maybe we should rest for a bit.”</p><p>Gahyeon whips her head towards them, the idea of stopping seemed to silence her for a few seconds in disbelief.</p><p>“You’re the one that said we should find the unnies fast, unnie,” Gahyeon finally says, barely hiding the panic in her voice.</p><p>Yubin doesn’t have any argument. She did say that but she’s also aware that Handong is getting annoyed at just following Gahyeon without her providing any explanation where they were going other than that it was obvious the younger girl was heading towards the explosion site.</p><p>“We can continue this tomorrow. We don’t know how long these flashlights from the supplies you found will last us, Gahyeon.”</p><p>Gahyeon frowned at her, “Well it really won’t last if we keep stopping every chance we get! What’s wrong with you?!”</p><p>Yubin steps back, startled at the normally polite girl raising her voice at her. Handong steps in.</p><p>“No what’s wrong with you?” Handong throws back, every bit as irritated as Gahyeon is although her tone remains steady and calm.</p><p>Gahyeon doesn’t relent, eyes meeting Handong’s in defiance.</p><p>“Okay stop this now,” Yubin interjects, trying to sound as authoritative as possible and hide the anxiety she’s feeling at seeing these sides of her friends, “Running around in the dark won’t really get us anywhere but fighting with each other isn’t going to help too.”</p><p>Handong sighs, and Gahyeon finally looks down, “Fine.”</p><p>They wordlessly work after that, Yubin and Handong making shelter while Gahyeon starts a small campfire. Half an hour later, Yubin manages to finish an imperfect debris hut. It wasn't stable but it could last them a night at least. Fortunately for them, there was enough woods and grass to make one.   </p><p>By the time they're finished finalizing everything to make sure the hut doesn't drop on their head, it was already pitch black dark and a chill runs up her spine, Yubin finally feeling the night breeze after such hard work and she heaves a sigh of relief as she warms herself by the campfire. She feels herself getting drowsy by the minute while waiting for Handong, eyes starting to drop close when the older girl finally sits beside her.</p><p>Maybe it was the exhaustion of a whole day of walking or maybe it was the hopelessness Yubin sometimes feels that had her so drained but she’d found herself mesmerized by the crackling fire in front of her, watching the shadows dance around themselves, silhouettes of imaginary people grappling at each other, trying to outdo one another, the crackling becoming more like screaming and shouting each passing second but Yubin couldn’t look away.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>“Let it go, Siyeon!”</em>
</p><p>
  <em>“No!”</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Yubin rubs her eyes. A dizzying blur of images flashes behind her eyes. What was that? </p><p>She's about to reach out to Handong's arm to steady herself when the girl beats her to it, fingers tugging at Yubin's sleeves.</p><p>“Where’s Gahyeon?” Handong whispers and suddenly Yubin’s forgotten all about the shadows and fire.</p><p>Sure enough, their youngest was nowhere to be found. The only sign that she had been with them at all was the supply bag she was kind enough to leave behind. Cursing, Yubin moves to search the bag, hoping Gahyeon left something like a note for them to at least find her in the morning but none came up. </p><p>Instead, the markings on the bag made her pause, stomach churning in an uncomfortable feeling.</p><p>
  <strong> <em>‘a gift from LOTUS LAND’ </em> </strong>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Her heart is pounding.</p><p>The darkness of the forest is more eerie than magical within the thick dense trees as compared to when they found themselves in a clearing, every shadow tricking her senses, every crunch of her shoes against the leaves deceiving her into hearing non-existent monsters chasing her through the forest.</p><p>Gahyeon picks up her pace, partly because of her growing paranoia and partly making sure that there is enough distance between her and Yubin and Handong. Somehow, the intense need to find a clearer part is pushing down the sinking feeling in her stomach. She has no time to process anything other than she really hates the unending towering trees.</p><p>Her flashlight flickers. Gahyeon feels a tiny bit of regret in leaving all the supplies with the older girls but it helps elevate the small trickle of guilt that she feels, a form of peace offering and apology on her part. Still, she’s running out of time.</p><p>Up ahead there’s a small trace of light from what looks to be a recently put out campfire and Gahyeon follows the trail with a hint of confusion. She’s pretty sure they would’ve wanted to meet by the beach. But then again, she’s not sure of anything at the moment, flashes of the message across the skies comes to memory and her confusion’s added by a great deal of trepidation. No one ever mentioned a game being played while they were here and the questions in her mind keeps growing.</p><p>A flashlight flickers, this time not coming from hers and Gahyeon stumbles to try and hide herself, barely running behind a massive tree before she sees and recognizes someone coming out of a temporary shelter.</p><p>Gahyeon could pick out the older girl’s silver hair anywhere, eyes wandering throughout the surroundings. Yoohyeon probably heard her footsteps, Gahyeon concluded. She’s about to show herself to Yoohyeon and at least find herself somewhere to stay because she's now regretting leaving Yubin and Handong like that when someone calls older girl from inside and she sees Jiu’s red hair in a flash, head poking out.</p><p>Gahyeon flinched. Both of them looked pretty roughened up, Yoohyeon’s clothes slightly torn and remnants of dust and ashes on her skin. Jiu looked even worse, the bandage wrapped around her head almost blending in with her red hair as blood soaked through it and what looks to be a discoloration on the skin from where part of her temples isn’t covered by bandages.</p><p>Gahyeon tries to swallow the nauseating feeling that’s crawling up her throat, a wave of guilt hitting her like a speeding truck and she’s unconsciously backing away, legs shaking underneath her. She’d expected to fall and alert the two girls, her entire body already out of her control as a sob threatens to escape her throat but before she could, someone steadies her, her back hitting someone’s body as they wrap their arm around Gahyeon’s shoulders. Before she could scream for help, a hand reaches out to cover her mouth, muffling any trace of noise from her silent and maybe it’s only fitting.</p><p>Maybe it’s karma for the part she’d played. Or the part she’d refused to play, always politely following and keeping silent. Gahyeon’s not a player, she never have and never wanted to be but maybe if she did something, maybe she wouldn’t be in her situation right now, vision blurring as the hand covering her face restricts her breathing and she’s falling and the silhouettes of all her nightmares closes in on her, her mind descending into darkness and the last thing she sees before she falls into the hands of the stranger is midnight blue, like despair, like the dark skies.</p><p>Gahyeon smiles in relief.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Wₑₗcₒₘₑ ₜₒ ₗₒₜᵤₛ ₗₐₙD</p><p>bₒdy cₒᵤₙₜ fₒᵣ ₜₕₑ dₐy: 1</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>this is short but it will get longer as the story goes on. i'm quite not sure what's going on either hhhh. thank you for the patience. this is unedited so any thoughts and feedback would be greatly appreciated &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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